Dadda and I stayed the night at a Holiday Inn near the airport, which was decent considering Dad revealed to me that he paid like 35$ for the room. We took the 5:30AM shuttle to the airport the next morning, said our goodbyes to Da Burgh for a while and got on our 7AM flight to Fort Myers, Florida. During the plane ride, I asked dad if he wanted middle seat and he told me that I “could definitely have it” to which I replied “I like the isle” and he sternly commanded that I “get in there”. Which was definitely cool of him considering I was sandwiched between he on my left and an older man on my right. Sounds fine until you realize that the guy to my right might have had the worst breath possible to emerge from a human being’s mouth. Because it was not the kind of stench that one could just ignore, I spent the 2 and a half hours nuzzling my nose in dad’s shoulder. I think the guy got the hint, because I spotted him chewing gum at baggage claim. Annnyway, when we got our bags, we headed over to the car rental area… Turns out, dad forgot which rental service he rented our car from. After I recovered from my shock that dad would actually do something like this (no shock whatsoever), I ran around to all of the rental desks frantically inquiring as to whether or not our last name was in the system. No luck. After about an hour of this and dad harassing travelocity on his phone and car service people, we found ourselves in a little black VW heading towards Marco. Dad had hassled some poor chick at the Budget desk to get us a car for the week; no less given to us at a price that was half the amount of what it should be. As much as we make fun of him for his badgering ways, we do at times have to admit that he is freakishly good at persuading people. The man is literally good at talking.
Before we reached our Marco Island destination, we decided to give Bob a call because we were passing through Naples. Bob recently moved out of his monster house and into a condo/apartment type high class community. Neither dad nor I expected his apartment to be as nice as it was; it is definitely just as nice as his previous abode. We reunited with Rockit dawg and then went to lunch at the nearby club house. It was cool to catch up with Bob and hear about his new(est) relationship and the issues that accompany it. We still had a destination so we headed out towards Marco after we stopped at a nearby Whole Foods (I could creep around freaking day there) to get some food. We crossed the bridge to the island and came to the condo complex. Hm.. why is there a population of ten? Why are the majority of them overweight and mexican? We quickly realized that we didn’t come during its peak-season. The condo is fine- if you are a couple in your mid to late 80s. We’re definitely not complaining , we are simply getting the hell out of here on Wednesday and heading to South Beach. Maybe there will be people there. We got settled and dad cracked a bottle of wine (once again, completely out of character) and passed the F out on the couch.
That night, we wanted to see Inception, so we headed down to Marco Island’s only movie theaters. We got there and took note that the entire line was made up of not so friendly looking black people. Collectively we decided that this was not great, so we ended up driving 20mins to a theater in Naples. The movie was really good and very smart, but it was approaching 1:30 when it started to wrap up so it was my turn to pass the F out. Dad woke me up as the credits rolled and I was beyond confused and had no clue where the hell I was. We drove home and initiated round two of passing the F out.
Now, we are sitting in a Starbucks in Naples on my computer because we have no WiFi in the condo, or prob on Marco Island for that matter.
We are about to take off and stake out some shops around the area, hopefully hit up some outlet mall or something. I just checked myself out in the mirror and noticed that I look haggard as hell so it’s time for me to peace out of this place.